Last Words from all of the Presidents…
George Washington – Where’d my weed go? John Adams – How come no one liked me? Thomas Jefferson – Why did everyone like me? James Madison – Make sure they name a city after me. James Monroe – I was a...
View ArticleHistory of the Norwegian Black Metal Scene
Scandinavia, in full, was planned as an acre of Disneyland adjacent to Frontierland but due to a misread blueprint it was placed much further North where Walt Disney failed to retain power over its...
View ArticleThe Four Horsemen of the Rapocalypse
Hayden Greif-Neill and Dash Kwiatkowsk From the book of Rapvelations 420:69:1. And the four baddest emcees you suckas ever seen came forth. 2. Their words were hot fire. 3. Ahhhhh shit, mothafuckas. 4....
View ArticleWhich Biblical Disaster Will Befall Upon You?
1. You meet a really cute/hot guy/girl at the bar/party/rest stop, and you think that things are really going well based on this first impression. Do you: Channel your inner Carly Rae Jepsen, do...
View ArticleThe New Bill of Rights
It is becoming clear that the government of this nation no longer cares about the rights of its people. Citizens are executed, without trial, by drone strike; our digital freedoms are trampled, in the...
View ArticleThis SHIT’s for Reelz
Michel Sargent, contributor I faced one of my greatest fears re-watching The Day After (1983). I saw it at the age of 10, far too young to see Boy Scout troops, college football heroes, and characters...
View Article10 things worse than The New Old Cosby:
Baraka Noel, contributor 10.) NAMBLA 9.) Sandy Hook, whether or not it happened 8.) Growing up as the child of Kanye & a Kardashian 7.) Sad kittens & puppies 6.) Mainstream gangsta rap 5.) Me,...
View ArticleDestruction Therapy
In a way that I hide now, I really, really like when things go boom. Smashy loud fireballs still get me all excited and hand clappy like a 2-year-old. Super American style. Once a friend’s treadmill...
View ArticleHow to Tell If Your Roomate’s a Zombie
Spencer Devine, contributor Sometimes, even though we would love to live by ourselves as independent creatures, urban financial structures force a large portion of city residents to find roommates....
View ArticleWomen, Am I Right
What’s the deal with women, right, guys? Sometimes they just drive me crazy. For instance, why don’t they just say what they mean? Am I right? This guy knows what I’m talking about. This girl I met the...
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